Girls Like This:

by Dr. Centeno

(to respond to this piece see the first post on this blog)

Sometimes known as “emo” girls or the more vague, congenial “indie” girls, this girl is usually the front woman of her own singer-songwriter project and closes her eyes when she sings, though sometimes she just plays bass in her friend’s punk band. Girls like this enjoy wearing more winter clothing than is necessary, particularly big hoods and scarves. They also tend to have strange fascinations with olden-times periods. Dress up is an important idea for these girls, because even though they know they are pretty, they try to hide it, at least for photos on the internet (they usually try to look pretty for Polaroids). Often they try to “hide” their beauty like this:

or like this:

But it doesn't ever work.

Girls like this have several types of friends: they must have another attractive friend who looks like them:

This is the person they talk in a baby voice to (and fight with) the most often.

Finally, they have a boyfriend.

This guy is a huge cock. He is a egotistical, apathetic, abusive, alcoholic, waste of space. He probably is, technically, in a band, or is a writer or artist of some type. Whatever he’s into, it is something that only works when he does it on the fly, desperate for attention, and requires nothing but a supernatural grace and charisma for 10-55 minutes. It is usually great, and brings him fame and fortune wherever he goes.

Don’t be confused!
There are several other types of girls who are mistaken for this type of girl:
Like this girl.

This girl is fun, and just as complicated as the girl we discussed before, BUT SHE IS NOT THE SAME GIRL.
The only creative output this girl is capable of is giving you head in a public alley despite her double-vision, explanations to her parents why she needs more money, and the Courtney Love-esque misspellings in her suicide letter.

Or this girl:

This girl will tear your fucking throat out with her fucking teeth. Stay away. It’s not because she’s Asian, it’s not because she’s pretty. You know why.

Here, let’s get that inverted.
See?

No way with this one either:

That’s Jeaneanne Garafolo. Snowball‘s chance in Hell.